When co-parenting feels impossible because of lingering anger, one practical starting point is a simple, written set of ground rules both parents agree to follow — not as an apology or an admission of blame, but as a shared commitment to keep the kids out of the conflict.
Ground rules worth agreeing to
- Don’t argue or fight in front of the children.
- Don’t speak badly about the other parent to the children.
- Don’t use the children to pass messages, spy, or carry money.
- Don’t discuss court disputes or adult problems with the children.
- Be on time, and call if you’re running late.
- Return children clean, fed, rested, and with clean clothes.
- Communicate directly with the other parent about the children’s needs, not through the kids.
- Try to agree on basics like bedtime, screen time, and discipline.
If one parent slips up, the answer is to try again the next day — not to give up on the whole approach.