By: 1999 The Positive Line

• Be a good role model by controlling your own anger.
• Never spank your child or use any other physical force when he/she gets out of control.
• Limit your child's viewing of violence in the media, whether on TV, in movies, video or on the Internet.
• Keep your child healthy, with enough rest and nutritious foods.
• Learn to recognize signs of stress in your child and help him/her handle stress you can't reduce.
• Encourage your child to put angry feelings into words rather than into physical actions.
• Teach your child to respect the feelings of others.
• Help your child make a list of things to do when angry that won't hurt himself/herself or others.
• If you blow up at your child, apologize later, after you've calmed down.

If your child has a problem learning to control anger, seek additional help from counselors or social workers at school or in the community.

9 Keys To Effective Discipline

By: 2000 The Positive Line

Point Out Positive Behavior

Observe when your child is being cooperative, responsible, etc. Praise the good job he or she is doing. This will encourage your child to continue the good behavior.

Call A Timeout

If a child continues to break rules, remove him or her from the rest of the family until the child is ready to accept the rules. The best place for a timeout is an area that is not pleasurable for the child. This works best for younger children.

Make A Contract

It often helps to put agreements in writing when dealing with an older child or adolescent. That way, both parents and child are reminded of what they said they would be willing to do.

Show You Care

Hug and kiss your child, say "I love you" often, and praise your child for things he or she does well. Children who feel loved are more willing to repeat positive behavior and quickly correct misbehavior.B

Be Respectful

Convey respect for your child by your words, tone of voice and body posture. Always focus on the behavior, not the child. There is a difference between calmly telling a child to finish his or her homework before watching TV, and angrily saying, "You never do your homework unless I tell you."

Offer Choices

Children generally respond better to being given choices than to receiving commands. But be sure that you can live with the choices you offer and that they do not endanger the child's health or welfare.

Set A Good Example

Children learn from watching others, especially their parents or guardians. If you want your child to be ready on time, don't be late. If you want your child to be polite, you should be polite to others, including your child.

Listen Carefully

Children deserve to be heard. Let your child express his or her thoughts and feelings about the best discipline. By being willing to listen and compromise in certain areas, you will set the stage for your child to accept decisions when no compromise is possible.

Present A United Front

Parents-whether married or divorced-can help each other by working out agreements about how to handle discipline in specific situations before these situations arise.

Follow Through

If a child is supposed to lose a privilege or expect a consequence because of some action, be sure this happens. If you feel sorry for your child and reinstate the privilege or drop the consequence, your child will learn that your word doesn't mean much. Your child will also not learn from the consequences of his or her action.

Be Prompt And Consistent

Act as soon as possible so your child associates the misbehavior with its consequence. Use one basic approach for discipline. Offering choices one day and simply imposing consequences without any choices another day can confuse and frustrate a child.

Take Appropriate Action

Fit the consequences to the misbehavior. If your child paints on the wall, have him or her clean it off. If apologies are in order, have your child make them. And if you must scold your child, be brief and to the point. Children stop listening if scolding goes on too long.

The teenage years are a time of confusion for many parents and youths. Teen years are a time of growth: physically, mentally and emotionally.

• Teenagers are "pre-adults" and they really need their own space. Balance the amount of their freedom and to know when to step in with good judgement.
• Clothes, trends, and trying to "fit in" are crucial parts of a teen's self-steem. Try to give teens acertain amount of freedom in this area
• Talk daily with your teen. Send them funny e-mails for find other ways to communicate so when you have one-on-one it's not so weird. If there is more than one sibling, make special "talk time" for each child.
• When your teen is rebelling and you find yourself "butting heads" think, "Am I listening?" or "Do I accept or allow my child to differ with my opinion?" Make sure your rules are realistic and appropriate.
• Choose your fights carefully and don't sweat the small stuff. Sometimes a teen enjoys shocking their parent (for example with a new hair color).
• Become familiar with the music they like, and things they read and watch on TV. This will not only give you things to talk about, but an opportunity to screen what they watch and listen to.
• Get to know their friends and their friends' parents. See if there's an opportunity to develop a support system.
• Accept that eventually you are going to end up talking to your teen about sex and the changes they may be noticing in their bodies. Be aware of changes in their body, mood, conversation, interests, etc.
• Empathize with your teen by acknowledging how difficult these years are for them.
• Communicate that you have expectations. Grades, behavior, and rules are just some of the expectations for which there is very little compromise.
• Internet access should only be available on a family computer that is in public view, not in your child's room.
• When will this end? Your child will grow and mature with your help and before you know it, he will be a responsible adult.

Reference: Kids Health for Parents (http://kidshealth.org/parent/growing/adolescence.html).

When Is It Okay For A Child To Stay Alone Without An Adult's Supervision & Care?

When is it okay for a child to stay alone without an adult's supervision and care? No Texas law specifies an age, but the law says that a child should not be "placed in a situation that a reasonable person would realize requires judgment or action beyond the child's level of maturity, physical condition, or mental abilities." Pre-school children cannot be left alone, as they are not capable of caring for themselves.

When deciding if your school-age child can stay home alone, think about the child's age, abilities, maturity, behavior, and judgement. Also, consider the length of time plus the activities in and around your home a neighborhood.

Does Your Child?

• Feel safe and comfortable being home alone?
• Know how to call 911, you, and other emergency numbers?
• Know where the emergency phone numbers and the home address are posted by the telephone?
• Know basic first aid and where to find your first aid kit?
• Know the fire exits in your home in case of a fire?
• Know the family's plan for emergencies and what neighbor or relative will be available?
• Know all safety rules, including limits for using the microwave, stove, oven, scissors, knives, and other potentially dangerous items while you are away?
• Know how to handle telephone calls? How to use the answering machine to screen calls? Which calls to answer? Or to tell callers that their parent "is busy"?
• Know to never answer the door or to allow strangers in the house?
• Know to call you first before allowing any unexpected, know person to enter?
• Know not to enter the house if something looks different and to immediately call you from a neighbor's house?
• Know to lock the doors once inside the house?
• Know and use internet safety rules?

After Doing The Above & Knowing Your Child's Abilities, Have You:

• Arranged for a reliable and trustworthy, nearby friend, neighbor, or relative to be available for your child?
• Posted emergency numbers and practiced with your child drills for fires and other emergencies?
• Set the guidelines with your child about activities and guests while alone?
• Deciding if the arrangement is working for your child:
• Start with very brief absences.
• Call while away.
• Drop in.

After Being Away, Talk With Your Child. Find Out:

• Are the family's rules being observed?
• Are your child's activities what you have agreed upon?
• If siblings are staying alone together, how do they get along without you?
• What have trusted neighbors observed?